Dear Diary...

Today I'm going to take a bit of a spin on my regular routine.

Let's call this a "Dear Diary" if you will....

I've been going through this journey of a healthy lifestyle change for almost a year now. This journey is far from just physical, it is also mental and emotional.

Physically, it has taken months to see results. Yes, I'm human and gosh knows the frustration and negativity danced in my head on some days but I focused on the positive and that all the hours and pain will be worth it. Little by little I did start to see results which kept me motivated enough to keep going.

About a month ago, I had a BAM of results and seeing the changes! It honestly was so rewarding that it pushed me even harder. I look at my progress from beginning to now and it only forces me to keep on, keeping on! I still have a long journey ahead to reach my goals. I also have to stay focused to maintain for a life time.

I know, those who don't know my journey or are the judge a book by its cover type typically see my social media as "attention" seeking. So, I've been told by some random and rude on lookers. A day in my shoes, a day in my direct messages to most woman may feel flattering. To me, I appreciate and always say thank you to a compliments. I would never be rude for someone being kind. In this crazy world we live in I still believe in kindness. BUT let's also be clear, it does not go down in this DM. (laughs) I guess, they say you made it when the haters hate. Nothing new, I have been dealing with this for years and it only inspires me to keep doing me!

But, just to clarify If you know me, you know "attention seeking" is so far from my radar. Does it feel good to be noticed for my "new" me, YES! (Duhhh!) I work my booty off (well, not really off as it is still large and plump) in the gym daily as well as eating clean. I have overcome so many struggles personally over the past few years and I am so proud of where I am today. I will flaunt this new body and show it off. Bing, bang BOOM! If you knew me as "Kiki Love" you already know what it is! Confident and classy, with a splash of ratchetness. (Inserts sly smirk and laugh.) I love me, call me arrogant, call me whatever you may BUT I love me so that is all that matters!

Mentally, this has not been easy. I'm very hard headed, it's the Gemini in me. When someone doubts me, not only will I prove them wrong, but I will also do 10 times more than just what they said I couldn't. I tend to think with my heart so my mind sometimes comes second personally. Now, business that's a whole different conversation. lol It's always a challenge to stay motivated. I'm very organized and love routine when it comes to goals and dreams. When I started organizing my goals and setting them yearly, monthly and weekly, for me this was a HUGE step in the right direction.

It has been so humbling to hear other woman say I inspire them. If ya'll only knew how much that warms my heart to help others. Even if I could help just one person that is enough to keep going, not only for me, but to prove that ANYONE can do it. AND FYI, I'm so excited to become certified so I can help others and spread my knowledge because credibility is the strongest currency on earth. Classes and so much more coming in Spring! (Sorry, had to get my little plug in.)

I know this journey isn't easy and I'm so open about my life that I can't just share the "good" things only. I have to share my thoughts and reality, because I know many of you out there feel the same. I've learned in this fitness world it is like any other industry. Those sales to take a pill, wrap, shaper or diet that will fix your body properly. Reality is those products don't work for the long term and the only thing that does is hard work and dedication. There is no such thing as a magic healthy lifestyle change. I'm sorry to burst your bubble, but save your money!

Emotionally, many tears and doubts over the years but I'm at a point of strong and overcoming of them. The reality is that you can be a happy person, but have negative thoughts sometimes. It's healthy to feel all types of feelings. How you deal with the emotions and get back on track is the important part. I'm the type of person who is very cut and dry. What is the best case scenario, what is the worst case scenario. I'm a tough cookie, but let me tell you I'm one emotional masterpiece. I say masterpiece because I believe those who show their emotions are in tune with themselves and others. It is OKAY to feel! Let me repeat, it is OKAY to feel.

Take each moment with a smile whether it be good or bad. The key to success is to keep growing in all areas of life mental, emotional, spiritual and physical. So yes, I have had some really tough years, but in the end I am tougher so bring it on!